so tell me what do do now, 'cause...

...I am a weirdo magnet.

For realz, yo.  It's been what, a week since I've blogged?  That's because nothing really interesting happened last week.  But this week, oh, this week has been very different.

I'm at a busier store this week, so I get lots of patients.  And lots of patients means lots of counseling.  And lots of counseling means you're bound to get the weirdos from time to time.  How do I even begin??

Let's start with the 70-ish-year-old old guy with yellow teeth, most likely from smoking, a shirt that used to be white with holes in it, and jean-short cutoffs.  He was picking up a prescription for Vicodin (obviously), so I counseled him on it.  At the end of our conversation, I said, "Do you have any other questions for me?"  His response:  "Can I have your number?"

Now before you all say, "Oh, he was just joking," you didn't see his face.  He was completely serious.  Then when I said, "I don't think so," he shrugged and said, "Well, I hope you have fun tonight.  I know I will," then he winked and left.  Creeper.

Today, however, took the cake.  This middle-aged guy, probably in his 40s, came to our drop-off window.  He presented me with a prescription and told me that his address was incorrect because he "used to be in prison" and was "probably going back next week because [he] got a DWI" and that I'd probably read about him in the newspaper.  If this wasn't enough, he also informed me that he was poisoned with antifreeze, was hospitalized in the ICU for 4 days, and that his serum creatinine is currently about 2.8 mg/dL and wanted to know if the kidneys regenerate.  He kept smiling at me and as I counseled him, our conversation went something like this:

Ex-con guy:  Oh, hi.  I see you're wearing a ring.
Me:  Yes, yes I am.
Ex-con guy:  Well, rings can come off.  **wink**
Me:  Uhm, mine doesn't.

I mean come on...what is it with people?  He creeped me out from the get-go because he was too friendly.  The pharmacist on duty who is about 8 months prego (bless her heart...and she's working up until her due date) said if she would have known, she would have taken the counsel because she's got such a big baby belly.  But how would she have known?  And...some guys like that kind of stuff.  Eek..whatever.

On Monday, I also had a googly-eyed lady freaking out because the doctor didn't call her prescription in correctly.  She screamed at me that she needed to use our phone so she could call her "godddamned doctor" and "get my pills because I'm out of my damn pills."  So after she yells at me and simultaneously spits on me while doing so, I lend her the phone next to the drop off window.  She gets ahold of the office and screams into the phone at the secretary, who puts her on hold so she can look into the problem.  The lady turns around and yells to her equally attractive husband, "THE GODDAMNED BITCH PUT ME ON HOLD!"  Mind you, there are lots of other people milling around as well as small children (oh, those poor kids).

The NP from the practice finally gets on the phone and tells the patient that she will talk to someone right then to straighten out the mishap.  The beauty shoves the phone in my face, so I took the prescription and talked with the NP, who apologized for her patient.  Why should she apologize?  Googly-eyed Lady owes everyone an apology!  She told the NP at her appointment that she takes Effexor XR 75 mg, which comes as a capsule.  The NP called in a script for that, but the catch is that it's not generic.  There are, however, venlafaxine XR 75 mg TABLETS, which is what the lady wanted because they're cheaper than the capsule.  I understand the lady was frustrated, but I will NEVER, EVER understand why patients think yelling and screaming will make things happen faster.  It will most likely cause me to move even slower just to piss you off.  UGH...people.

I was really, really frustrated in general today, though.  I worked with a pharmacist whom I've never met, and she made me stay at the drop off window for my entire 10 hours because I'd "learn sooooo much standing there."  That might be good and all IF I WAS A TECH TRAINING ON THE COMPUTER.  I'm not saying I shouldn't learn to do all I can so I can help while I'm there, but how is taking prescriptions preparing me to be a pharmacist?  I should be counseling, making MD calls, taking prescriptions, and making OTC recommendations.  I don't mind helping out at drop off for a little bit, but 10 hours?!  Honestly...no one else stood there their whole shift.  I'm just free labor so they can do whatever they want, I guess.  Whatever...here's to hoping tomorrow is better.  At least I'm off Friday.

I'm going home this weekend...yay for four-day weekends!  I work four-10 hour days so I get Fridays off, plus Monday is a holiday and I don't have to go in...YAY!  Working Saturday at home...will update if I have stories!!

I'm going crazy

Today was first official day of APPE 1.  Woopee.  It's my first of two retail rotations, which is my bread and butter.  This particular pharmacy I'm at right now has only been open since late March, so they don't have too much business.  When I talked to my preceptor on the phone, he told me that they're kind of slow, but that it would give me an opportunity to counsel a lot (which is something I am looking forward to since I don't get to do much of that at home).  BUT...when he said "kind of slow," he wasn't telling me the whole truth.  When he said "kind of slow," he meant "so slow you could watch paint dry and it would be more exciting."  In my 8 hours there, I did a grand total of 3 transfers, took 6 drop-offs, and answered the phone twice.  And they got not one phone call from a doctor's office, either directly or left on the voicemail.  Luckily, I have a good classmate on rotation with me to pass the time with. 

Oh, and my actual preceptor wasn't even there...he's on vacay for the next week.  We were fortunate enough to work with this eccentric 60s-ish floater from Taiwan.  I've decided that he's a conspiracy theorist.  He thinks everything is evil and out to get people - ie the higher management in the company he works for, drug companies, the government.  Don't get me wrong, I really liked him...he was just strange, lol.  And I may not have gotten any interesting patient stories, but Floater Pharmy had plenty of one-liners:

(overhearing employees cheering somewhere in the store**) "Drug Store loves me, Drug Store hates me...no, Drug Store is just using you."
**apparently there was some type of manager's meeting this morning...I have no clue what they were so happy about.

Tech:  "It's hot in here."
RPh:  "Because I'm hot."

(referring to inserting rectal suppositories)  "You just spank it and it automatically shoots in - it's a nursing skill."

This last one needs a little explanation:  Floater Pharmy had a big blue jug of water that was crystal clear early in the morning.  Throughout the morning, the water began to turn a greenish hue, and I noticed that there were 3 teabags floating in the top.  An employee stocking the OTC section noticed as well and asked what was floating in the top of his jug.  His response:

"Goldfish."

And 10 minutes later, when the tech noticed the teabags and asked about them, she was awarded with an totally different answer:

"Dead rats.  Mmm...rats."

I work with this guy tomorrow, too...should be interesting!!!